Hey y’all! I’m Meghan and if this is your first time here: welcome to my blog. Today I want to answer a question that truly stumps me. How did the world get comfortable with borrowing and lending? I am going to tell you why you need to un-indoctrinate yourself, become your own bank, and pay off your debt.
When you go to buy a house, what is the most expensive fix? No one bats an eye over, “It needs paint.” No one gets upset over, “I want to change my cabinet door knobs.” These are things you can, not only fix yourself, but they are relatively inexpensive.
The words: “We have a foundation issue,” can end a sale.
Your marriage is like a house. It may not be perfect. It may need a touch of paint or new knobs, but you won’t be intimidated by those fixes. Heck, you will probably even enjoy the process. However, if you go into your marriage with a foundation issue, that could be a big BIG problem.
You want your marriage, like a house, to sit on solid ground. While many things can cause a foundation issue, a financial hole is the issue I am talking about today.
You would never walk up to a 15-foot hole, and say, “Here it is! This is the perfect spot for our house!” BECAUSE, that would make you look crazy.
Now, I know the reality is that “nearly two-thirds of marriages start out with debt.” (Click here for the full article from Dave Ramsey.) I’m not suggesting that you avoid getting married until you are out of debt. My husband and I had debt when we got married.
I am suggesting though, it’s a good idea to grab a shovel.
The shovel is not to dig. The shovel is to fill the hole. It’s to pay off your debt. In fact, if you have debt, you probably BOTH need to grab a shovel. Rent a backhoe. Do something. Because your marriage doesn’t just need stability, it DESERVES it.
94% of couples who would describe their marriage as great, talk about money goals!! (Source here.) That’s because they have align their goals and make plans together!
One day my husband and I looked around and realized, nearly everyone we know professionally has upwards of 100k in debt. We’ve seen it in the form of student loans, car payments, and mortgages.
HONESTLY, I think each one of those is equally a disadvantage. Most people make exceptions for mortgages, but I would say if you need to pay off debt, of any kind, that is not great. You will never build wealth when you have 5 regular monthly payments!
Now I know what your gut reaction is, “Money isn’t everything.”
That is true. 100%. Absolutely. BUT, also as true as that statement is, “Everything costs money.” We could go back and forth all day in cliches. Bottom line, “money is just a tool, and it helps you get what you want” that’s an original by my husband. (I’m sure it has been said by many others, but I think of it as a Matthew original.)
The reality is now, people cannot WAIT to have what they want. This is why people are lining up to get higher credit card limits, more student loans, and bigger houses for $40,000 above market value. The bigger house costs far more than what you paid for it!
A bigger house costs you time with your family. It costs you potentially working a job that makes you miserable. How much are you willing to sacrifice to make payments you can’t afford for 30 years?
I want to reiterate that I am not looking at you with doom and gloom if you and your spouse have debts. Debt is so normalized it takes a seriously intense and counter-cultural mindset reno to see debt for what it is. A BIG BIG HOLE and a BIG BIG problem.
The thing is, we see “what we make” as what we’re worth rather than our actual net worth as our value. Doctor’s, some of the highest middle class or even upper class earners, are often some of the biggest spenders. (Read more about it here.) Exceptions exist to every rule; but generally speaking once people reach a certain income, they feel they DESERVE it. “We should be able to have that.”
It seems to be as long as “sufficient funds” are coming in, people will keep borrowing. This is because, “They can afford to make the payment.” People no longer realize the value of paying off your debt!
You and your new spouse and your growing hole probably, could yes, make that monthly payment. Or, you could put that money you were going to spend on a new car toward your hole. You should pay off your debt to make your monthly payments practically non-existent, rather than just affordable.
Starting out on the right foot financially with your spouse will be the ultimate trust building exercise, and you can do it.
My husband and I paid off our debts amounting to $29,000 in 9 months once we’d finished arguing.
It took a while to understand each other and where each party was coming from. Each uncomfortable discussion was absolutely worth it. We are not CPA’s, or financial advisors. We were 24 and 26 when we achieved financial freedom. If we could do it, so can you.
Great read Meg.
Love you! 🙂