Arkansas, the place where Walmart was born, where the Razorbacks play, that state where Bill Clinton’s from, and my personal favorite from church camp, circa 2006, “do you guys wear shoes there?” I can confirm from personal experience that these are the things people know, or at least think they know, about Arkansas.
What I know about Arkansas, is the coffee shops of Conway, Fort Smith, and Fayetteville have thus far outdone every one I’ve visited outside of state lines. The view of the Ozark Mountains in September/October is beautiful and I’d take a day trip to Fayetteville just to see the trees change in the fall. The people drive politely and they wave as they pass. Chacos really are awesome! It’s where I met my husband and where our families live who we miss very much.
Mostly, I know that the worldview that I built in AR is the one I want for my children. If we can not bring them to AR, Matthew and I will spend however long he’s in the military bringing it to them.
I know that I couldn’t wait to leave, and now I can not wait to get back.
Matthew and I got married in 2019 two months before I graduated from nursing school. As soon as I threw my cap, I became a Tennessee resident. A resident of a two bedroom one bathroom apartment. It was a modest place to pay off student loans, but about the time that a Papa John’s delivery guy got his car stolen right in front of Matthew, we decided we had to move.
Kentucky on base living was absolutely 5 star in comparison to the apartment. We loved it. Matthew had a five minute drive to the motor pool! I had a yard and a small garden. And most importantly — no one ever stole the pizza delivery car to take a joy-ride down Fort Campbell Boulevard.
We lived there for just over a year before finally packing up and heading toward Fort Lee, VA. Six months of on base living here has us ready to move on to North Carolina for yet another unknown amount of time.
No one, I mean no one but a military family can understand how my husband and I have managed to have five different states for addresses in just over 2 years of marriage. That’s three duty stations, one: on state lines which we lived on both sides of; another: where we moved in and didn’t unpack the boxes in our guest bedrooms; and our most recent station Fort Bragg, North Carolina where we are closing on our first home. I knew when I married an attractive man in ASU’s my life would change, but quite frankly, I just wasn’t prepared for what was to come.
So far: tears have fallen, smiles have grown wide, and family and friends voices have filled each address. We love it when our house is full with family and we notice it when it’s empty. We are constantly missing our family’s presence and while I’d never say every day gets easier, I will say I trust and rely on Matthew for more every day.
My biggest military-wife life lesson: expect the unexpected. When you move, things will go wrong. This has possibly been the hardest thing for this recovering control-freak. You have to organize about 50 tasks just for your husband to be able to leave base on time. Once you leave base, the real fun begins. Just be prepared to role with the punches.
During our last move, we stayed in a mountain yurt to break up the long drive, and it SNOWED. Not like it Alma, Arkansas snowed, like it SNOWED. When we arrived to Fort Lee for Matthew’s assignment, we got to our house and lo and behold the water heater didn’t work. At this point when we arrived we were required to do a 2 week mandatory quarantine. It would also be 3 days until our furniture arrived so we were without a washer and dryer. So, I washed our two towels covered in puppy paw prints I had brought with us (for the days before our belongings were delivered) in our bathtub. You have not fully appreciated women or washing machines fully until you have hand washed heavy linens.
All this rambling to say, “I wish I’d been prepared!” I wish I had access to an online resource who would have prepared me for all of the things that inevitably did not turn out how I planned. I wish I could’ve had someone to tell me, “Don’t get too comfortable at your new job.” By the time you feel comfortable it’ll be time to go.
As far as I can tell the wise internet genie for military spouses doesn’t exist, and while 2 years of this lifestyle in no way grants me “wise internet genie” status, I figure: somebody’s got to start ranting about this so we can all say, “Yes that totally sucks!” in perfect unison. In the words of Aibileen Clark, “I guess it’s gonna be me.”
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